Go Away,Trey!

"Who should be hurt? Who should be ashamed? 
Am I supposed to change? Are you supposed to change? 
Who should be hurt? Will we remain? 
You need a resolution, I need a resolution, 
We need a resolution, We have so much confusion. "

As I write this, I feel...unsatisfied. That's the overall feeling I have from last night's party. Think of it like this: You're in an easter egg hunt but you can only find 3 or 4 eggs. You KNOW there's more out there, but you just can't anymore..
Really, this has been my summer. I've been looking for something, and I haven't found it. that might be due to the fact that I really don't know what the hell I'm searching for anyway.

Let me just start from the beginning. When arrived, the usual four were there, including...someone I'll call Thin Ink. I wasn't sure if was coming because of something that occurred in the last few days. Let me explain: Basically he tried to blast me on his status (childish) about a blog that has nothing to do with him, calling me tacky, attention-craving, and mentally unstable. Well I wouldn't say I crave attention but I GET attention, and I like the attention I get. And umm...listen playboy, you don't know just how mentally unstable I am ;) Don't test the kid. However, when I asked him about it, he tried to be very nonchalant and even insinuated that one of his friends felt the same way. They all denied but it still hasn't sit right with me since. I won't worry about it because I get money, make moves, and basically do what I please. Jealousy isn't cute.

"So why was Thin Ink even there?" you might ask. Well I don't know. It didn't matter to me BUT just for future reference. If I don't like you, everything you do and your very presence makes me uncomfortable and annoyed. Please Please Please do NOT make any subtle attempts to talk to me or to get me to talk to you. Don't stand next to me. DO NOT TOUCH ME which means don't put your hand on my side every time you walk by me. I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so proud of Pinkie for controlling himself and remembering that the night was ours and not letting anyone ruin it.

I've recently realized that I really can't do people younger than me and sometimes my own age. All summer I've been surrounded by people older than myself, with the exception of Justin. I used to be attracted to goofiness, the same goofiness I found in Lucas and Justin. But its not what I want now...

So Chino came to my party with some of his friends and I felt that he pretty much forgot what he was even there for. He barely even spoke to me. I danced with him twice, and one time The Greek God joined in. It was...symbolic. There was the smoothness and sexiness I associate with age, and also the fun and electricity I associate with youth. Anyway, Chino left without saying anything at all. He later gave me some weird reason involving pepper spray and burning asses. But, idk. I guess I just really wanted to spend that night
with him.

I was very pissed off at the fact that someone stole Yuleidy-Bug's phone. Like who does that? And I feel dumb because they did it in plain sight. But I'm glad DYM came, they always hold a real nigga down. Brittani too. And Jose. Also glad that my nigga Ralph and Julisa went out to get drinks. I love them so much.

BREAKING NEWS:.....Boys.. If the kid back that thang up on ya, you better act like you know some. Move with it. Grab something. I've danced with studs that can dance better than some of you all. ...Girls...the kid can't fuck witcha if you don't know how to move that thaaaang. I'm done.

Random Sexy pic

I couldn't be with someone that I'm claiming and doesn't claim me. And flirts with everyone. Like everyone.

Overall, I just feel...unsatisfied. I didn't have any toys to play with :/ muahaha that sounds so...deviant. I am so..needing it right now. Something needs to happen in the next two days. My body is ready.

The worse thing about meeting new people is that I know I wont ever see them again. I met Abby last night, and she is maaaaad cool. I love lesbians, we all know this. She's very chill. And we had champagne in honor of me leaving. A nigga poppin bottles now. Levels. But anyway...so glad I met her and was able to finally meet and hang out with Linda.

Overall, I'm ready to leave. When I walked outside of Jojo's last night, I just stood there after I closed the door. I felt as if I had closed the door on a stage of my life. I feel as though everything I had ever done, the people I've met, all have been practice for what is to come. It won't be hard for me to make new friends and such. I feel missed already. People wishing me well, but no one has made me cry..yet. Yanela ALMOST did. But I know exactly who will.

The next post you see will be posted from my dorm room ;)