Weh yuh wallet? Yeh, yuh 'ave it? Mmm, gi we it!"
I'm kinda asking for advice. Please comment or message me your thoughts...
As I type this, I feel a small emptiness inside of me. The last couple days I have really felt my relationships with different people start to fade away. Okay I'm really trying to to tear up, but its very hard for me to communicate to you, the reader, how I feel because I do not even understand. That's mainly because feelings are meant to be felt not understood.
I'm about to go to the University of South Florida. I'm intelligent and intellectual when need be. I'm not THAT ugly (I think).I'm a dope nigga, why stress over joke niggas? I guess just alot of things have been bugging me and so now I'm being an emotional you-know-what.
I feel Justin and I slowly pulling apart from each other. Its hard for me to sit here and imagine myself having any type of relationship with him much less any real feelings for him. That is probably because I haven't seen him in almost a week. Sometimes I think I need him in my life, other times I think the opposite. I always just wanted to know how he truly felt about me. That's all I wanted. I played myself into thinking there could ever be anything between us. At the end of the day, we're two fucked-up individuals.
*puts on chapstick*
So I really wanna hang out with some of the people I met at the Greek God's party BUT, my problem has always been oversexualization of self. I flirt with people without realizing it. I just have a very sultry personality. I don't wanna be like "Mark, do you wanna do lunch?" or "Kenny, you wanna beach it up?" and it come off as " Hey, do you wanna fuck?". Gay guys always take it like that from me. Always thinking da kid wanna get at them cakes, but it ain't always like that. And also , I don't wanna be too...pushy? They have a clique already established and I don't wanna..I don't really know how to explain it. I remember how it was when I had my clique in high school (Team Amazing). I never bothered to hang out with anyone else and often gave people that I could have been GREAT friends with the cold shoulder and didn't realize it til it was too late.I grew out of that but now I find myself often conflicted when trying to choose which offer to take, who to do what with and on what day.
Believe me sweety, I got enough to feed the needy ;)
BANG BANG!! I'm in a good mood now hahahaha. I think I'm gonna kill the muthafuckin DJ.
PLENTY O' THINGS I would like to say on this blog but I won't, at least not yet. A good king knows when its best to keep the harmony in the kingdom, and when its best to let all hell break loose ;)
Haven't talked to Spongebob since that night....what a fucking weirdo.
This girl at my job annoys the shit out of me. Dammit man. Her voice is like somebody biting my ear off. Think Mike Tyson. Van Gogh. No, definitely Mike Tyson....anyway. This bitch asked if a Quarter Pounder was a Big Mac...you been working there two weeks already. Dumb broad I swear.
OMG I'm SOOOOOO excited for my party!! I'm gonna turn the fuck uppp!!!! There better be plenty of genetalia for me to grind up on...that sounded so wrong haha.
There's something about you I really like....but I don't time for that..literally..13 DAYS AND I'M OUT THIS BEOOOTCH!!
I wanna go to the movies tomorrow. And I really want to go on a date before I leave :/
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