"You came here looking for someone else.
I'm sorry I don't have any of that person to give to you.
I'm not hurt. I'm not angry.
I’m sharp and alive.
My tongue is wicked and my thoughts are wild and free.
I’m something no man can handle. You don’t even recognize me anymore.
My kingdom is impervious. I’ve locked you out of my heaven. The memory of you, lives on earth."
I came here looking for you
But I found just wasn't true
I know you're hurt. I know you're angry
He was dull and lives no longer.
I'l slay your tongue and tame your thoughts.
I'm no mere man and a mortal man you need not. Your disposition has shifted.
My love is impenetrable.You'll forever be the prince of this castle. I'll find you amongst the stars.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Monday, December 23, 2013
World Peace and Bloody Faces
"It's alright.
I know they think I get around
You and I got something they can't know about
Really only heaven knows my heart"
This is some funeral. No one else is present. There are only footprints in the sand.
Some people are addicted to drugs. I'm addicted to admiration and affection. Spare me the "L" word. I don't believe these people really ever meant it. I get a rush from compliments and wandering gazes.
I'm an empath. I can feel what others feel. I hate it.
Tonight I considered just driving. I was going to get on to I-75, and just drive until I couldn't drive anymore.
I recently became romantically involved with someone I used to be very attracted to in high school . He didn't want me then but now he does apparently. I could quote some words from a very popular Mike Jones song, but I'll keep that easter egg to myself. Well, he initially said he didn't want strings which is cool with me, but a few days later he took me around his friends and after a very crazy night, he used the "b" word.....Boyfriend. Uhhh. *scratches head* Baby, that title has alot of strings attached.
I feel a new alter ego coming on.
I need some change. I could never change who am, however, I can change my approach. Seems like I'm always going out of my way for other people but rarely get the same in return. For example, If we're friends, you know you always get a text from me every major holiday. On Christmas I sent 80 texts messages out and got maybe half of that back. New years' will be different, I won't be texting anyone first.
I know it probably sounds petty to many of my readers but I relate small things like that to bigger things like this: Earlier this year I stuck my neck out for one of my podmates. Her boyfriend didn't give a fuck about her at a party and I made sure she was okay. Well basically he told me he didn't like Black people (and almost fucked all the way up in the process) and she took his side and told me to stay out of it.
2014 will be a spiritual journey for me more than anything else. I'll be connecting to greater forces and gaining a new understanding of the people and the environment around me. I really don't know who I am. I don't know what I'm sexually attracted to anymore. I don't know what I wanna be "when I grow up". I don't really know what all the name "Trey" encompasses. I plan on eliminating the negativity and stress from my life, and creating a greater spiritual entity within my entire being.
I'll die loved or I'll be damned.
Friday, December 20, 2013
Sober in Hate
"He's all alone, some things will never change
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night "
Loyalty is Royalty, and you bitch? You belong with the peasants.
Sometimes people characterize me as mean and heartless, and I feel that's true but only when I 'm given incentive to be that way. Other than that, I consider myself more nice than I absolutely have to be. For example, two weeks ago, The pod ordered pizza. I put in the order ( first I asked if anyone wanted to join in because I was ordering for myself.).I was nice enough to pay the tax and the delivery fee. But guess what? Someone took advantage of that and didn't put in ANYTHING for what they had individually ordered. I was collecting the money on the table and honestly have no clue who DIDN'T coontribute due to my own lack of paying attention (not that I thought I actually had to). So basically I paid $10 more than I had to, and that's all the way fucked up. However, $10 to me, isn't something to argue about, and so I never said anything. I don't always like confrontation and plus USF already thinks I'm more ratchet than I actually am and paints me as some violent egomaniac. Now if I knew who it was, that'd be different. But I've learned my lesson, and won't be volunteering to do that ever again lol.
I spent my last few days with Mollie. I absolutely love her. She is probably the most genuine person in pod. She got me when I need her and I most deff got her. I love that little pothead.
In other news, Ja'Markus and I had a good ass conversation and cleared everything up. While he will never be someone that I really rely on or trust to a great extent, we always have alot of fun when hangs out with us and we all turn up. Kinda sad that he's leaving but hey, life goes on.
He mentioned something about the Pod being mad floppy. I agree. They are too fake sometimes. But as long as it isn't directed toward me. I'm good. I learned from the whole Curtis thing ( One of my podmate's boyfriend was making everyone uncomfortable, I told her, no one else admitted the truth until they had no choice). I'm TOO real about mine.

There's also the other guys who I'm sure I've mentioned before. I don't recall the nickname I gave him right now, so I'll just be calling him Grande. We've had our fun before lol but I always wanted something more serious with him. Well, we've been flirting all week via Twitter then today I find out he has a boyfriend...umm what? So yall KNOW I had to go check this kid out right? Now, I'm not trying to be conceited, but I look way better than this kid. I can't understand why Grande would be with him over me. (Not that want a relationship with him anymore). I would tell you what his boyfriend looks like, but there's no way for me to do it without being "mean" so I'll keep my plump lips closed.
The Greek God is literally all that I want to be when I'm his age. Well-traveled, intelligent, doing well for himself...he is just DREAMY.
I don't need alcohol to have a good ass time. Sadly, can't say the same for others.
Still feel like I haven't made a true BEST friend at USF. Yet.
I lost 20 pounds in college and I'm reaaaally not trying to gain in back in three weeks. My mom is on her way with a box of fried chicken as we speak. Le sigh,
Sitting here thinking about Diane. She has reached the highest level of best-friendom. I feel like friendship is a constant thing where one person goes out of their way to do things for the other, and vice verse. You do those to prove how much someone means to you and for them to realize that. (OMG my ear is so itchy right now). However, right now I feel that no matter what we will always be friends. She's the only person that I don't stress about concerning our friendship. I trust her and she trusts me. I can't say that for most people.
My mom is SO surprised and pissed that my dad did not speak to me last night at my sister's event. I'm not.

Alex is still killing me with his whiteness, from 250 miles away -___-
Class dismissed.
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