The Icing on the Cake

"Ya dick ain't good enough to be stylin' on me

You's a bitch ass nigga to keep on wildin' on me

Hit my side nigga, "Quick, fast! Pull up in that quick, fast!""

**Check out my piece about White Privilege at the end

I been feeling like my Tampa friends have gotten progressively boring lately. No one wants to go out. No one wants to turn up. Case and point, Bailey and KitKat have really made a complete 180 from freshman year. They would turn waaaay up. TOO up. But now getting them out of their apartment complex is, well, complex. 

I want friends that would wanna do random dope shit like go camping, bar hopping, laser tag, anything shit. I feel like I'm wasting my life away. And I don't know how much time I have left in this city. 

All I'm saying it that you really have to enjoy your youth while you can. I know how much longer I'll be able to be completely wastey-pants and wake up at 9 the next morning for work. So you really got to seize the moment. 

N to the Wayz,  the Lil Nigga Trigga Trey is officially 21 yall!!!

I’m an official liquor plug!

I had a crazy week so let me go into detail.

As extra as I am, yall know my birthday had to be absolutely LITT. And it was. I was drunk everyday!! (Because I can legally do that now!)

Monday we all met at the Green Iguana Ybor which ended up being a lot better than I originally thought it would. I was so happy to see the bulk of my closest Tampa friends there and even more happier to be able to purchase drinks. My first drink was a Sex on the Beach, which is oh so delicioso. We won at trivia too which was great although most of the questions were geared towards people with melanin deficiencies. Afterwards, some of us went to the Kennedy and I was actually quite surprised that Kitkat and Bailey came. For most of the week’s activities they were present but mostly kept to themselves. They really are different from my other friends in the fact that they mostly keep to themselves and that’s hard for my other friends to understand, especially since it comes off as unfriendly to them. Whatever the case, I’m supremely appreciative of the fact that they came at all. Which is more than I can say for others. We will get to that.

That night at the Kennedy was actually lit, although I didn’t really like the atmosphere. But I really enjoyed the music, it was so on point.

The next day I went to Casa Ramos with Shea and her friends, Jamie, and Sherrie (eye roll). I had a peach margarita that was orgasmic and the tacos weren’t that bad either.

Wednesday was different. Weeks before, Karissa told me she was going to take me to Peabody’s which I was down for. Originally I wanted to drive to Orlando for a hip hop night at a club but I didn’t go specifically because she told me she was taking me to Peabody’s . When the time came around, she was saying that she was going to leave early and suggested taking separate cars, which aggravated the shit out of me because everyone knows I don’t like to leave early cuz hell I’m getting there late because I’m royalty duh. This all goes back to the whole Greek life thing. I don’t understand why I keep getting blown off and put off for people who from what I see don’t actually give a fuck about you. There’s not one of my Greek friends that I can say handled the transition well. Maybe I’m just not meant to understand or care for that matter, but that’s beside the point. Antywayz, she waited til it was near time to finally let me know that she was actually going and by that time I was already done for the day. She went anyway and turns out it was someone else’s birthday! I don’t really know the intention behind but I’m not of fan of it and the whole thing is just irritating. On top of that, she had the nerve to invite to some fucking informational for her sorority.

If I have not made it clear for all the world, allow me to do so now:

I DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT GREEK LIFE. Don’t invite me to Greek events or any other shit because 8/10 times, I’m not coming.

Moving on, the craziest thing is that while she told me she would be at  the party on Friday but she told one of my friends that she wasn’t coming. Even crazier after I told her about what her actions look like concerning him, she continues to engage in such. I don’t really know what’s been going on with her but I damn sure don’t like it.

Thursday, I went with Racheal and this boy named Rezzy to Liquid. I didn’t really know what his intentions were but I soon found out. A couple other people were supposed to come and cancelled which annoyed me only because everyone knows I’m totally a man of my word and when I say I’m there then bitch I’m already there. But the club was good, mostly because the bartenders were buying me shots and I ended up being drunk as fuck. I saw this sexy ass boy named CJ that hangs around USF and damn I want that nigga so bad. But I probably fucked up the vision because I had some tequila in my system which lead to me damn near raping Rezzy in the club in front of everyone. Also, two nasty dancers offered to give me a lap dance which might I add, was neither sexually satisfying nor impressive. This amazon of a man was throwing ass on me damn near pulverizing my pelvis. Sigh. Whatever. Rezzy and I went home and yeaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I kind of like him but he's got to show me something interesting if he wants my attention. Stimulate my mind brah.

PAUZ.
Yo I hate topping a bottom that’s taller than me because it’s sooo fucking awkward. And I’ve come to understand that the taller they are, the less flexible they are and really I’m just trying to put your legs behind your ears.

UNPAUZ.

But speaking of Racheal, I really was  am unhappy with her. Now, I have been friends with this girl for a VERY long time. Let me put this into perspective: When my friends tell me their birthdays are coming up, it's a mandatory thing for me to accompany them. That's what friends are for. So when I invited Racheal to the limo which she had every means to go to, she declined because Christian wanted to do something else. That shit stuck with me because I'm not asking you to contribute any money whatsoever. I invited both of them and it's just crazy that you as a friend didn't feel it was necessary to join me for something so simple. Get on the damn limo and ride. The fuck? You can only hang with Christian's not around and that's poses a problem for me. Now I know. 

Friday was a hot mess in the morning. I was running around to get speakers and food stuffs. I had Nae Nae, Julissa, Shai, and Carlos all helping me in the kitchen which made the process move a lot more quickly. I felt like, tho, I had put in so much effort and money and the food was gone so quickly. The dinner cruise wasn't exactly what I thought it would be. I expected the boat to be a little bigger. But my nigga we all legit spent $10 on 3 shrimp.

Well I didn't because I dined...and I dashed....Don't judge me!! I am a good citizen. But listen the waitress was messing shit up and didn't know what she was doing so I just got annoyed and slipped out. The party after was great too but Carlos and I were both too drunk to actually perform right ahahaha. I was forgetting my lyrics left and right.

That night I was surprised when  my Bahamian Bae wanted to come especially since he had been trying to front like he wasn't feeling the kid. Which made it even more surprising when he kept making subtle attempts to touch  and then when were in the hot tub AND THEN when we were in the shower.


Moving on, let me tell you about the disaster that happened the next day. The 90's party on Saturday night was actually more Lit than I believed it would be. Shai, Kristy and I were TLC and man we fucking killed it!!! Actually, Kristy gets the trophy of the night. When she really wants to be, she is truly a baddie and she looked so totally unlike her normally crusty self haha.

So the limo came and we all piled on and I specifically told the driver to take me to my apartment before driving to Orlando. I also never gave him a physical address of anywhere to go in Orlando. So this man drives right past my apartment and to make a U-Turn he gets BACK onto the highway. This mofo made a 25 minute U-Turn. Whatever. I got the goods from home and we got L.I.T.. We stopped somewhere in Orlando to use the bathroom at which point the driver tells me we need to get back to Tampa. I'm looking at him like okay? You're the driver. You know how long it takes to get to get to whatever point. Do you. So at 2:55, we pull over and the driver tells me that he needs $150 in cash to take us back home.

I actually couldn't believe my drunken ears. I opened the door to let one of my friends handle the situation because the lil nigga trigga Trey was really about to go all the way off. To make matters worse, I called his boss and he threatened to call the police on me! At this point, I wish I did because I know that the police would have made him take us back. On top of that, after we came up with the money, this man didn't take us back to Ybor as he was instructed to do. I'm definitely in the process of contacting the Better Business Bureau about this.

What made the entire thing that much worse was that Jamie's roommate was being a grand cunt about it. Let me tell yall how dumb this hoe is. She VOLUNTEERED to put up the cash then COMPLAINED about it and demanded that she get her money back that night. Also dumb enough to be completely unaware of the fact that most of my friends were getting ready to jump her. Everyone knows how I am about money. The fact that she said that made me drunkenly drive to the ATM to pull out her $150. I felt like since she needed it soooo badly I'd put in an extra $10. Lame hoe. Let this be a lesson to everyone: Don't ever sweat me about some damn money. It comes and goes. It doesn't make my friendships but I guess it definitely breaks them. This hoe was apparently talking all this shit in and out of the limo but yall already know she wasn't answering that phone the next day!! And you made sure you weren't home. Got it.

When people ask me for the AUX Cord in MY car.


One of Shai-Ann's friends had a birthday party and honestly the only reason I went was because he thinks I don't like him or whatever so I didn't want to perpetuate that sentiment (Holy Run-on). Even bought the nigga a bottle. So the moment I stepped foot into the apartment it was awkward-city. I didn't really know anyone besides Shai's roommate (who only speaks to me when her closeted friend isn't around {different story, different day}), Sam, Vanessa, and that's really it. Everyone else really just stared at me and it was almost as if we all had this shared thought of "what the fuck is doing here?" Moreover, a couple of the "models" from one of the modeling troupes on campus were there and they know me but love to act as if they don't. No one was offering to make a drink. Nobody tried to pass me the blunt. Maybe I'm being needy but everyone knows that when I host things, I make sure everyone is comfortable and what not. I think her friends and their dynamic is weird in general but that has nothing to do with me and I intend on keeping it that way.

Moreover, this girl who annoyed from the utter moment that I met her weeks ago felt completely comfortable stepping all over me and not saying excuse me. At that point, I was so annoyed that I left Lehigh early for that reason that I just left without a word. I never make the same mistake twice.

Speaking of Lehigh, being back home was of course a breath of fresh air. It was nice hanging out with Luz because she is literally so fun. She offers an uncomplicated fun. We went bar hopping in Fort Myers, starting at Rascal's where a lovely-middled aged caucasian man was clearly thirsty and he knew the kid got the juice! I found myself drinking the weakest jack-and-coke I have ever consumed while being reluctantly molested by Tom Cruise's less attractive brother. We then went downtown and ended up at this Prohibition Era-themed bar where  Luz bought me a Long Island Iced Tea that made a valiant effort in battling my liver.

The next day was...different. I ended up going to TBL with this guy that I met off Grindr. He wasn't my type in the least, so I wasn't checking for him like that. We went to TBL and I really felt like I had all eyes on me. The funny thing is that when I left, maaaad niggas was hittin me on Grindr. Yes, I'm cute. Yes, I'm handsome. But why you couldn't tell me this in person? I digress. So it got extremely awkward when I realized that ole boy was actually trying to get at me when he put his arm around me. I don't think I ever moved so fast in my life. It might be my fault tho. I guess I never really established those lines and I bought him a drink out of kindness which he clearly took incorrectly. So this boy I know in the area met me at the club and much to my surprise, he also was interested in the kid. You can imagine my dilemma.

Moving on, I have totally ended things with Andy. I don't really think we have ever got into such a grand argument as we did that day. I was going to post some bits of the conversation on this feed but honestly it hurts too much. It sucks when you really care for someone and they really just refuse to acknowledge that at all. Whatever. It's the end of an era.

The lessons I've learned thus far in life have culminated into a couple things. The most relevant at this point is that I have really acquired the ability to say goodbye with almost too much ease. I can't really say that there's anyone in my life that I would feel incomplete without or that I would even put much effort into trying reclaim.

For me, there's a huge difference between being mad and being annoyed. If Trey Trey is mad at you, it is due to a single event. But me being annoyed with you is indicative of a repetitive action. When I'm annoyed with people, I don't want to be in their presence at all. It's for your sake, trust me. Charlie just can't be liable for things he does when you annoy us. It's best to not bug me during this time or your sentence will be extended.

You know when I throw shade, I'm throwing mountains and hills bih.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Before anything, I really have something to say. To deny the existence of White privilege stemming from the global value of lighter skin is certainly incredulous to me! And then, in your defense, you say "Well, I couldn't get this job because it was given to a black man" or "I can't get Food stamps because I work too many hours". It's not an individual aspect and that's where you're flawed. White people think of how groups of others affect them as individuals. They argue that events of only 50 years ago have no effect on today's society. And it's all bullshit. 

The fact that we need provisional laws for special representation such as Affirmative Action is solely because White Privilege exists, period. From the moment our chained feet stepped onto American soil, we were placed in a position where we are not able to achieve success by the same means due to our pre-established inferior socioeconomic status. The Civil Rights Act of 1968 ended institutional discrimination only ended 50 years ago, do you really believe that's enough time for hearts and minds to change as well?

You know, I'm all for people loving themselves and being proud of who you are. Before you ask why you can't have Whitepeoplemeet(dot)com and White Entertainment Television, blame your ancestors because historically, when White people "empowered" themselves, it was to the detriment of everyone else. #BlackLivesMatter and Pro-Blackness is about recognizing that black people and our contributions are being excluded from history books and popular media. Our award shows do not exclude individuals or discriminate. 

Typically, when we use the term "Black" in America, we are referring to the ethnicity that was created by the arrival of African slaves in America centuries ago. This is an ethnic group that does not reflect the culture that the term "African-American" relays. We have long lost our inner connection to dashikis, grass skirts, and acceptable self-mutilation of female reproductive organs. We are much more characterized by cornrows, rap music, and strong matriarchal family dynamic. When we use the term "White", we are referring to race only. We are saying specifically Germans, Irish, Italians, etc. We are talking about all White people. So, in America, race issues between Whites and Blacks consist of intersectionality of race and ethnicity. 

The value of lighter skin exists also in our own culture as well. We glamorize having light-skinned children with curly hair and hazel eyes in way that almost sexualizes children. That's weird. The house slave mentality is definitely still prominent in our culture. And I hate when Black people feel the need to publicly criticize members of our own race because the media (Faux 4) loves to eat that shit up and play it everywhere. "Look ONE of them agrees with us! We MUST be right." *Looks at Stacey Dash*

To conclude, I just really want to say it's weird that people can have all of these grand opinions on Facebook but let the topic of race issues come up in class. Crickets.