The Laying of Trey

"No dick in the pants ass nigga

I be damned if I fuck a non-man ass nigga

I will, I will, I will never fuck a non-man ass nigga

I would never lie

Even if that nigga flew me and my bitches all the way out to Dubai"

I wish I had a Caribbean accent :( 

*DISCLAIMER* 

Look, no matter what I say, feel, or do, My complete and utter loyalty and affection (physical and emotion) is to NO ONE. That only lies in store for my BOYFRIEND, and only the person I choose to refer to using that title. It may be a long time coming, but whoever he is/will be, I will have much in store for him. But all I'm truly saying is, in Nicki Minaj terms, "Fuck who you want, and Fuck who you like!" (Starships) And that's what I'll do until my knight arrives. 

I just want someone to give meaning to these love songs. 

Oh-em-eff to the gee! Let me start off with explaining about Soft Serve.
I completely misinterpreted his actions. I thought there would be a relationship down the road, but he doesn't want one. He is one of those, "my ex hurt me so bad so I can't be in another relationship" people (whom I cannot stand).

Wait wait, Stop the presses. Let me tell yall a lil sumtin.....BITCH NO ONE IS YOUR EX!! You cannot live your life expecting everyone else to treat you the same or do you dirty like your ex did. You'll be a lonely ass bitch for the rest of your life!

What makes me the most upset is that TWO TIMES we were in ybor clubbing and both times we were all over each other. Holding each other. Making out. Allat good stuff. To me, that's a public statement. We're saying, "Hey, everyone look at us! We're together! No matter the title, we still have something going on!" I  told him that I wouldn't wanna walk into a club and see him all over someone else. Cuffed or not if I invested my time⌚& feelings into you. It's just certain shit you don't do out of respect.

But you know, fuck respect, fuck feelings, and fuck thaaaaat! I'm just kinda done with it. I won't be putting any effort into it whatsoever. And all I gotta say is don't be mad when you see me boo'd up with someone else. Endstory.

Those who know me, know that I am composed of Charlie, Vladimir, Pinkie, and The Forever Dreamer. But, change is coming. Vladimir is sick. Very Sick. And I feel that his time might be coming to an end. However, something is stirring inside of me. A deeper entity. I hope the world is ready. I hope I am ready.
Prepare for his arrival!

So this crusty little girl tweeted about me and my beloved KitKat being "drunk" (which we weren't) and I didn't appreciate it. Let me show yall.

Antywayz, So she came into the building later and pretended to be on the phone. lol, pack your bags cuz you are a TRIP! Then the next day, she tweeted and basically threatened me with her "MMA friends" and of course, Pinkie who ain't about the chit-chat knocked on her door. She came to the door but didn't open it (Duh, there was a dungeon dragon standing outside). But all I'm saying is this: Don't start nun won't be nun. FYI to everyone, you don't want a war with me. And if you start one, you better bring the Roman Phalanx (google it) with you because it'll be World War 3000 in this bitch. 

Anyway, Let's talk about Nicki Minaj's new song and album coming out. I am infuriated because people got so upset about her cursing so much/ using the N word, but all the other rappers can do it and it be okay. I also hate that she took so much fire for an album cover that wasn't even the OFFICIAL album cover. I understood her intentions completely but I personally would not have posted the picture because it would clearly be mistaken for something else, especially because Nicki Minaj is such a controversial figure. (See the picture below) But Cassidy and Trey Songs (both irrelevant) made remixes to it. If you wasn't a lookin ass nigga then you wouldn't be offended by the song. And it really takes a lookin ass nigga to make a remix to a song and bash women. 

A part of me is missing Pop Nicki. Starships and Superbass were her biggest songs, and they did AMAZING. I just feel that it would be hard for her to connect to the rest of world with hardcore hip hop like she did with Pop. We shall see. She bodies anything she spits on soooo.

Anyways,
I'm also very...idk about Joel. I feel like my emotion for him are sorta...okay look. It's like holding vomit in your mouth. That moment where you're trying to keep it but you know it's gonna force its way out. Well that's how I feel. I feel like i do have feeling for him but I can't because of the circumstances. And because we're not in an established relationship, I don't really know what lines can and can't be crossed. I just don't know. I do know that he's the one I go to bed thinking about..

I also don't know where things stand with Louis.

My podmates can be too cliquey sometimes. I enjoy being around   am able to be around the majority of them. One I really have learned about myself is that I can have fun with anyone. I enjoy that aspect of myself. Turn the fuck up.

I love my podmates tho. I so far have talked about lube in an asshole, circumcision, anal fingering, etc. All this week. Next year will be...different..

#OOMF sent me a naked pic this morning. I would do....many things to him lol. But that might be crossing boundaries so....maybe not. I'm such a flirtatious person...I keep catching myself. Hmm....or nah?

Make a move...

Trey's Tweets of the Week:
"Me and One of my dormmates have a secret love connection that clearly only we know about ;)"
"Don't ya just hate when you text someone, they don't respond.. but then they tweet.. lol funny right?"
"F is for vodka U is for vodka N is for vodka"
"DO YOU EVER JUST GET JEALOUS SO EASILY LIKE NO THAT PERSON IS MINE DON’T BREATHE AROUND THEM PLEASE AND THANK YOU"
"There's not one dick-wielding human being who deserves anything I have to offer at this point."
"Genital warfare"

He Kissed Me Before He Left..

"Every now and then I get a little crazy

That's not the way it's supposed to be

Sometimes my vision is a little hazy

I can't tell who I should trust or just who I let trust me"

First of all, I cannot do these USF gay boys. Umm bye. These niggas act so funny and I'm not wit it! You're dismissed!

Ever feel like you have no control over your own life? As if life is happening around you and you have no control? As if every single little thing is jostling you around and you can't take the time to stop and BREATHE? Like you're blowing in the wind?

On a much brighter note, I'm reaaaaally feeling this one boy whom (for his own sake) shall be referred to as Soft Serve.

Soft Serve came to pick me up last night in his Lexus (which is just as sexy as he is). He wanted to drink so I offered to drive to ybor. Honestly, I wasn't sure if was really feelin the kid like that. Have you ever felt like you're talking to someone that is sooo much better looking than you so it doesn't make sense that they're into you? That's how I felt.

BTW I'm calling him Soft Serve because he is mixed and has the softest skin I have ever felt before on a man.
Antywayz, last night we went to The Social and Liquid. Another thing I was confused about was/is his sexual role. If a guy is a top (i.e. more masculine) then I typically get in front of him and boost this thang back up on him. But if he's a bottom (i.e. more feminine) then I let him be in front. I'm versatile so I'm not fazed by either.

So as I'm with Soft Serve all night, this one boy was being mad annoying. I used to talk to him (until I met him in person lol!) and I decided that I was no longer interested. Well he was very salty about that (still despite this being months ago) and he kinda knew Soft Serve and insisted on following us into different clubs all night and just being petty. While I was at Ybor, I also saw a handful of niggas I've blocked on grindr, a boy I've ditched on a date, a boy that keeps trying to hook up with me, and a boy I actually have had relations with who also tried to make out with my neck as Soft Serve stood 2 feet away. Reasons why I SHOULD stay away from ybor.

Overall, it was great night, Soft Serve came back to the crib and we...cuddled haha. He left in the morning, but he did something strange and foreign to me...He Kissed Me Before He Left..

Now I know it doesn't seem like much, but....it means something to me. And that's all that matters.

I was also kinda surprised by Joel. I am still feeling some type of way about the fact that he did not tell me Happy Birthday, but he realized that I feel like he never makes the effort to contact me and did so...and he gave me a compliment and I am easily flattered.

Let me get this off of my chest. My 19th birthday was probably the worst birthday I have had in..well, 19 years. 1) 15 people came with me to Ybor. 1 person actually came to the club with me. I was actually soooo upset about this and completely dumbfounded that NO ONE thought, "Hmm well if this is for Trey's Birthday then maybe we should actually go to the club HE wants to go to". and 2) If I say I don;t wanna listen to a song at MY OWN party, then maybe you shouldn't connect YOUR shit to MY speaker and play it anyway. The amount of inconsideration I felt last weekend still bewilders me. And honestly, it made me think of this: "Treat others how you wish to be treated" is complete bullshit. Basically what I'm saying is that I've learned that just because I won't eat the lion doesn't mean it won't eat me.

However, 1) My podmates decorated my door and I was pleasantly surprised..2 ) Jenni came to Ybor JUST because she didn't want me to be alone. She actually kinda saved my night. If not for her, I would've just cried for 4 hours or taken a taxi home. 3) Erin, Jenni, and David went out of their way to get me a Key Lime Pie, chicken, and Sweet Tea. I was so shocked that they would do that for me. I like how they just DID it. That's what friends are supposed to do for you. It honestly was probably the most special I had felt all weekend.

I spent $500 on my own birthday..

I was also pleasantly surprised that HE came to my party. He never has time to do anything with me, but he showed up, looking very cute. I know we can't be together. He is much too busy and while he is stuck on Earth, I am floating somewhere near Neptune.

Sometimes, I feel like a celebrity.

How much of life is real? How much is solely illusion? And then again, what consitutes reality? If I see something, but no one else does, does it not exist? We all physically see things, but then again, we see them differently.

There lies great good in my heart, however, there also lies the capacity for an even greater evil. More so than anything, there is indifference. A huge desire to free myself from it all.\

These old niggas I fuck wit, get MONEY!

Now I sit here, bored with life. I need a breath of fresh air. Something...different. Unprecedented. Unpredictable.