All Things Go: Part 1

"When it's real, feelings hard to conceal

Can't imagine all the pain I feel

Give anything to hear half your breath 

I know you still living your life, after death"

This is Part 1 of 2. I promise in part two, things will be more positive.

I honestly don't even know where to start. This will be my last post in 2014 and it sucks that I have to end it on such a sour note. What's even worse is that the first event of 2015 will be my father's funeral.

Yeah. Many people who know the kid, did not know that my dad has been battling meso-pharyngeal cancer for the last 9 months. It is pretty much a shock to many of my friends because most people know me to be very (at times,too) open. But it is very rare that I actually open up about my family and many of the deeper issues that lie within myself. And that, readers, is because I am truly afraid of my own emotions.

I've been trying to live life as normal and keep myself busy because the moment when I stop and think about all that's going on will be the moment I lapse into insanity. Its somewhat comical to see how people have been approaching me about it. I can tell that many of you don't really know what to say or how to say it. Love ,for me, is an action word. I really have appreciated those of my friends whom have taken time to spend time with me. That is really the best thing you can do for me right now. I don't want to be alone.

I have had some great moments with my close friends over the break thus far but I really have to speak about this particular person. You know, One of my biggest fears it to be vulnerable both physically but mostly emotionally. People have been texting me, asking me how I'm doing, and there have been times where I say, "I'm fine." with tears and snot running down my face. I think that people are so used to me being the "protector", the "overseer", that me breaking down is such a taboo thought to them. In general words mean so little to me, so when it comes to being there for me, actions speak louder than words. Because really, we all remember moments rather than conversations. And really one of the only people in my life that understands that is Sami. She told me would pick me up and told me she was treating me to rib city and a movie. This is where that whole vulnerability things kicks in because I usually hate people paying for me and I usually drive people everywhere (when I'm home and not in Tampa). Because she was willing to really do that for me, said alot to me. It says that she cares. It says that she knows me well enough to know that if she asked, I would not have agreed to that. For me to be able to feel vulnerable around her, and be okay with that, is refreshing to say the least.

Also have to say that people like Rachel the Jew and Brittani, who have actually been texting my ass every damn day, make me smile. It's almost annoying, but not in a annoying way. More like, "Damn you really won't leave my ass alone but I know it's because you truly care about me and actually appreciate that."

For me to sit here and explain all that has transpired between my dad and I in the last couple years it would take multiple posts and a whole heck of alot of explaining. Basically, my father cheated on my mother and married his mistress. She was very phony to my sister and I , and I always felt that she did not truly like us. Of course, my dad was oblivious. I first approached my dad about it in the 6th grade. My step-sister came to visit and was treated much better than my sister and I. But of course, my dad dismissed my claims and accused me of seeking attention. In my sophomore year of high school, my dad had a conversation with myself, my mother, and my sister, in which he told us that his wife told him that she didn't like us in an argument and that he was going to divorce her. Fast forward, he didn't end up divorcing her. They moved back with each other and my dad just seemed to forget what she had said about us. In an argument, my dad told me never to ask him for anything ever again, which left me crying in the fetal position at my grandmother's house at the age of 16. And so, ever since that day, to this point, I have NEVER asked him for anything.

Things kind of became a bit better in my senior year, however  I grew accustomed to not really having him in my life for those two years that it was hard and annoying to try to put the pieces back. Then I came out. And that didn't really help. He wasn't nearly as supportive as my mother and actually tried to tell me that I didn't know what I was talking about. The summer before I moved to Tampa, we all went into counseling in which my dad refused to really be a good sport about it and excluded his wife which made the situation worse. He also denied saying that she said she didn't like us which left all of three of our mouths on the floor.
A few other things happened, but ever since then, I really have not made extreme effort to talk to my dad. He has tried to reach out to me time and time again, but I just could not forgive him, for choosing her over us, over and over again. As for her, I still will never forgive her for what she has done and the rift caused in our family. Never.

So you can imagine how conflicted I felt when I found out that he had cancer. Was I supposed to just let go of everything and be there for my dad? I never once questioned my father's love for his son. And I have always loved my dad, but hated some of the things he has done, things which will impact every relationship I ever have forever. It were these thoughts which kept me from seeing my dad regularly over the last year, in addition to my extreme fear of death and dying. I felt that to many of my family members, this translated into me not caring about him, especially because I almost never posted anything on social media about my dad compared to their 30 posts a day.

Speaking of which, I feel that my dad's death has really driven me farther away from his side of the family. Anything I ever knew that was going on with my father, I found out from social media besides ONE call from my aunt about 2 months ago. I also found out my dad had passed away via facebook before my mom was able to tell me, which is actually terrible.Besides that, I can see that some of my family has been acting funny around me. I've heard things were said about me. I don't care. But I do care that no one has actually taken the time to ask me and get my side of things. Half of them don't even know that I don't like my dad's wife. So, I feel like a black sheep.

My family has also excluded me from funeral arrangements. Why? I have no clue. Even after death, my father's wife has managed to be completely evil. And my family is enabling her.

I won't be petty. Thank you, Lisa.

At time where I am supposed to feel loved, I have never felt more alone. I am deeply hurting. People keep sending me words...what are they? Words don't change anything. Please just don't let me be alone. I've always felt so alone.

But all that truly matters to me is that I have made peace with my dad. In a conversation we had on wednesday, he told me "Be Trey". Now, no one knows this because I have NEVER EVER verbalized this to anyone but I have always felt like a disappointment to my parents. This is mostly because of my sexuality and my refusal to pursue basketball dreams that everybody BUT me had for myself. Somehow, my dad read these deepest thoughts because he then said, "I am not ashamed of you. I love you." And in that moment, I forgave him. I forgave him for everything. Though he didn't always show it in the way I would have wanted, I know that my dad always loved me. I last saw him the day before he passed. He was unresponsive. I had an entire conversation with him and he did not say one word or even open his eyes until I said "I love you". He then snapped back into consciousness and said, " I love you, too." and snapped right back into unresponsiveness.

Those were the last words I heard my father say.

Trojan Whores

"Let me make this clear I'm not difficult, I'm just about my business

I'm not into fake industry parties, and fake agendas

Rock with people for how they make me feel not what they give me

Even the ones that hurt me the most, I still show forgiveness"

Because your bitch ass won't recognize the lyrics, let me learn ya somethin right fast. They're from a song off of Nicki's new album (duh) called "All Things Go". In the song, she speaks about her relationship with SB, how she blames herself for her cousin being killed, and about her miscarriage 16 years ago. It really is a deep song, almost feel like its me but I can say that about alot her songs. But these lyrics, especially, really describe me, I feel. Most of you will agree. 

She better get this Grammy for Anaconda. Like forreal, there has not been a bigger rap song. 

I really enjoyed the time I spent with both Diane and Yuly. According to the gospel of Trey Canady, chapter 3, verse 35.4, true friendship is defined by being able to cry without provocation, laugh without jokes, shout without judgment, and dance without music. I really appreciated them looking out for me, even when others didn't. 

Fucking finals week. I always get annoyed around this time because everyone loses they're fucking minds. Trey logic in 3...2...1..So if you have taken notes, paid attention in class, and done your assignments throughout the semester, then why the actual fuck do you needs to spend 12 hours in the library each day  everyday (Yikes "each day"...the KitKat coming out of me)?

It was so nice when Theresa asked me to dinner. When people do that, I almost always say yes because that is SO flattering that out of everyone, they wanted to hang out with me. I've watched her bloom into a lovely , awkward, pale, sunflower. We really did have a great conversation about some things that I felt only I had noticed and the chinese food was on point!

When my friends let me see their boobs and ass >>>
I think people forget I'm very much everything-and-everyone-sexual so I'm enjoying rubbing ya titz just like any other nigga. The kid ain't complainin tho.

I hate people who are emotional drunks. Well I don't really do emotions and you bitches know that. Like I'm just tryna have a good tiiiimmeeee you over here in ya feelinnnzz....and the dragon ain't feelin it.

Diane and I spotted Brittani in the Mall on Black Friday and it honestly was the most awkward situation. I love her, yes, always will (I think). But, the shit over the summer just doesn't sit right with me and I question whether I care enough to really mend things. "Sorry" doesn't mean you can just keep repeating the actions for which you apologized. All things must come to an end, sooner or later.

Last night I went to a hotel in downtown Tampa for my bitch Bekah's birthday. It was definitely interesting to say the least. You know, I've realized that I have this sort of, biological mechanism for when I'm intoxicated. When I'm drunk, I'm consciously aware that I'm drunk so when I'm around people I don't know well, I keep repeating to myself  "Sit down and shut up. And whatever you do, do not touch anyone". It kinda worked last night. I went walking with Bekah and her friends Sam and Jonathan, both of whom are into dingalings and bumholes just like yours truly. They're both quite attractive but I honestly feel like anyone at UT would be way out of my league. I'll explain that comment in the next paragraph. Antywayz, I felt myself putting my arm around them multiple times and I really had to chill because I was in that mood. I ended up smoking a swisher sweet which was strange because I actually hate cigarettes and the smoke kills my allergies but apparently not when I'm intoxicated. I also peed in several places including on a basement door of a church on the street and in the hallway of the hotel. Where is my home training??

Gettin back to what I said and why I said it, it just seems like all of the people I have met from UT thus far are....glamorous for lack of a better word. Let's take Sam into example. Everytime I see this nigga his hair is on fleeeek and I mean not one strand out of place. Now honestly, I'm not intimated by money thing or anything like that cuz yall know money ain't never nothin to the muthafuckin kid. Sin embargo, where I would pleased with eating from the lil rib shack on the corner, I don't know anything about fancy shmancy places. Shiiiiiet the fanciest place I'd go to eat in probably Red Lobster and I hope saying that doesn't make me sound ghetto or anything but then again, you know I don't give a fuck. I feel like I can't really verbalize what I actually feel but I'll sum up and say we just live on different planets.

I didn't mean to come of as judgmental so I hope that's not how anyone takes it. You know I fucks with people of all different socioeconomic classes and shit. I really blame Anthony because when we had whatever-the-fuck-we-had, he really made me feel like I wasn't shit cuz I was ratchet compared to his lifestyle.

They wanted me to stay the night so that I wouldn't have to take a cab and that would've been fine however I somehow got stuck in a bed between two straights and one of whom was audibly still spitting up vomit. I waited until everyone was mostly asleep and James Bond'd my way out of the room and eventually home. It was awkward because I didn't know them at all. Sleeping in the bed with Sam or Bekah wouldnt've worked either because I don't trust my drunk penis.

Speaking of penises, let's move on to my Love Life..

There's this boy named EJ who I actually really like but I kinda fucked it up last year because I basically was inebriated and was actin all kinds of crazy. But honestly, if you know me well enough, if you saw him, you would say "Yep, that's exactly who I could picture you with". Let's see how this goes.

I don't remember if I mentioned him last year but I'm pretty sure I would've. Anyway, I won't say his name in case anyone knows him but I also won't give him a nickname because I won't be speaking to or about him ever again. There was this guy who happens to be HIV positive. He didn't get it from fucking around, he got it from someone he loved and was in a serious relationship with. I tried to give him a chance. No I was not planning on having any sexual contact with him, protected or otherwise. But he told me he was going to take me to the park after he finished what he had to do and the nigga never hit me up all day. He got mad when I came at his throat and well whatever. Just know I'm not talking to him anymore. He's cute. Long hair, blue eyes, and skin a little darker than mine. But no one keeps King Charlemagne Zolanski waiting. Hmph.

Remember that shade I threw earlier in the post? Well that had to do with Lucas. I'm not going to explicitly say what happened but he put me in very bad situation where I could've definitely caused mortal harm to myself and others and it just wasn't cool. We talked it over and he sincerely apologized so I'm over it. But it's like Queen Minaj says, "I'mma forgive, I won't forget but I'mma dead the issue".

There's a boy named Quran who randomly hit me up on facebook. We chatted on facebook, then snapchat, then when I just got annoyed and asked for his number, He started acting like I was trying to get at him. Dafuq?! Sorry but I don't go for niggas that post videos of them shaking their ass every damn day.

This is exactly I don't act friendly to niggas.

And if ya don't know, now you know, nigga!

Gin, Roti, and a Bed of Lies: Part 2

"I heard you got a new man, I see you takin' a pic

Then you post it up, thinkin' that its makin' me sick

I see you calling, I be makin' it quick

Imma answer that shit like: "I don't fuck with you"

This blog is the bible and I am King James. When you ask me to alter it, you are asking me to alter my emotions and thoughts . Everything I say is worded specifically in order to perfectly convey the emotional component. To change it would be to change my emotions, and really the kid ain't having that. (Thank you Shai for reminding me who the fuck I am). I did it for part one but just so that everyone knows I will NOT be doing it again. So don't even fix your lips to ask me to change or remove something but that request may just be met with death. And I intend on living for a while.

And if you ask me to remove your name, you can count on not being mentioned on my blog EVER again. So be careful.

Sounds like kind of an asshole thing to do but I'm not willing to compromise my sanity and mental stability just so you are okay. The only thing I can say is this: if you don't want me to drive the car, don't put gas in it.
No shade intended. But at some point you have to real with yourself, ya know? I look at it as the only people who have ever had a problem were those who did not truly know me or those who guilty of things I have said. So, there's no such thing as people who have an issue with the blog, only people who do not really know me. Just remember that regardless of any name you see, at the end its about ME, not anyone else.

It's hard to love everyone if everyone doesn't love you.

Thanksgiving's in a couple days, and I'm honestly completely nervous to go back home. It's always a different  world and I ain't talking about Dwayne and Whitley ( Oh you ain't never watched that show? OH.)

Forreal tho. My dad's cancer is finally starting to subside but it really is so hard seeing the biggest, strongest person you know suddenly become a shriveled up relic of what they used to be. I find great sadness in the fact that I'm not able to care like I should as son because of things he has done to me. It's crazy how I'm so forgiving about things but I still cannot forgive my dad for ending my happy childhood and marrying someone who pretended to like my sister and I and thus causing all the stress I have since endured. But just because ha has been not that great of father, doesn't necesarily mean I have to be a lackluster son...but I just cannot get over it. And in that, I find tremendous grief.

My grandmother's cancer was acting up as well. Between her, my dad, and my great-grandmother (who is 95), I really just thought I was sure to lose someone sometime soon. My eyes are accumulating water and I'm around people so I'm gonna just move onto another topic in order to maintain real nigga status.

One good thing about Thanksgiving break (besides the coma I'll be putting myself in to from eating so much) is the  fact that most of Team Amazing will be home. It's been so long since we've all been together but hey, it's hard to get a bunch of fucking bosses in the same room cuz erry'body busy making mad moves and shit. My cup of coffee still needs a shot of Kristy, but then again, everyone's cup needs that. And Rib City better have those cheese fries on point for Sami and I.

Haven't seen Bekah in so long. That's my bitch tho. Did I tell yall about her friend and thing about the club with the jacking of the dancers' dicks?

Anyway, let's get back to the tea.

I didn't actually see Dildo until Thursday. The week before, I met him at his place of business.We somehow ended up at Lettuce Lake Park walking in the trees and shit. I'm so used to guys seeing me as a piece of meat that when one doesn't, I literally have no idea what to do or what to think. I'm honestly not immediately attracted to him but the deep concern and kindness he shows towards his friends is ...attractive.

Let me just go ahead and say that I really haven't been interested in him in the least, but more infatuated with the idea of getting to know a boy who didn't originate from Grindr. And I was thoroughly confused as to if he was actually trying to get at me or not. That is, until Thursday morning.

You guys will never guess what happened. Dildo came to the apartment with this boy whom I instantly recognized.

This really threw me off guard. I felt like I was almost pacing the room and couldn't stay still. I felt like I had completely lost control of the situation. Now I know you want all the details but there really isn't much to say. He's Cuban but looks completely white. Short and thick like the kid like em but the key to winning my affections lies within much more than physical appearances. The boy honestly isn't relevant enough for me to name or give a nickname to. I won't even say why we stopped talking or why it didn't go anywhere just to spare feelings. Or that he's actually crazed in the head.


Fast forward. I ended up telling Dildo everything. EVERYTHING. Even the context of Andy and I's relationship, or lack thereof.

I really conclude it to this: I am so used to having the explicit attention of a boy when I'm in his presence, and because Dildo doesn't thirst after me, I don't know how to handle it. And you know, I like that. Just as a final clarification, Dildo and I are just friends. If it's meant to be, it will be. But we all know I'm not lacking in that department.

You know, I've really been getting closer to Onyeka and her friends. The only thing about it is that I very hesitant to get close to them because I don't want them to subconsciously compare me as a friend to Andy. I think they all have their guard up due to his bitchassness and I don't want them to feel like I'm trying flatter my way into their lives. They've known each for a while and have that dynamic set up already of doing things. I realized that I'm kind of comparing them to my own friend circle, Team Amazing, but people are different. Onyeka and her friends are..not the greatest communicators and don't really plan things out like I'm used to. It's just a different dynamic.

Onyeka is who I've become closest to and through her, I met everyone else. If I needed to define what a great person is, I would just say, "Onyeka Ugochukwu". And yall know I don't ever come across anyone crazier than myself, so that should tell you all how much fun we have in each other's presence. We really met so coincidentally and everything you have read thus far has been a result of that coincidence. We both took an extra shift at work, she added me on snapchat and Andy happened to be on her best friends list. I asked her how she knew him and everything took off from there. I look forward to building a lasting friendship with her.

Besides Onyeka, I have spent the most time with Mitcheld. She is deeply caring and really easy to talk to. I also like that she is always willing to hang out. That's flattering and I have only just recently gotten accustomed to people really inviting me to chill and hang out as opposed to the other way around.

I also met Ainka who invited me to a roti shop. Roti is trini food beeteedubs. The roti itself is type of flatbread, similar to a tortilla but way more paperlike. You put stewed meat in inside and you fold it up. I'm SO gracious that she invited me to come especially because I love Caribbean culture. Ainka just seems so full of life and being around her really gave me liiiiiiife. She seems very motherly but at the same time she herself is a fun time. "Tell your man to eat it right!"
I also met Janice. I can only really describe her as one cooooool ass bitch. Besides her dope accent, something about her just exuberates "cool".She's the type of person whom when you first see, you're like "damn, me and this bitch just HAVE to be tight". When we spoke concerning my blog and she was very understanding and honest with me.

Speaking of honesty, another friend I have been around is Christina. Now, my first impression of her is one that could be drawn only from being made to feel uncomfortable in my home. Now that we've kicked it about 3 times, I have developed a little bit of understanding. She reminds me of someone I used to be...very "shoot first, ask questions later". I definitely think she means well but some things she has said to me probably would've started War World 3 back then. It's clearly something that her friends are used to and it doesn't seem to faze them at all. But see, the only person who is bothered by a dog's pile of shit is he who makes the mistake of stepping in it. Moreover, I believe that within her lies a ferocious fire fueled by undying loyalty to those she considers friends and family. Which is an awesome thing to have. I'm willing to bet she's a Capricorn. Every capricorn I know has a hard time understanding things for other's perspectives.

Now let me just say, I'm already madly in love with Sunny. I'm at the dollar store looking for a ring right now, who got a quarter?

But on a real note, something about her is so genuine. You know those people that you say are real because they are not afraid to let you know how they feel although they sometimes come off as rude in doing so, such as myself. But then there's people like Sunny, who sit in the wings and let you know what the lick really read and do so in a way that makes you want to get on your knees and thank them graciously. Definitely someone without ulterior motives to their actions. Two words: Fluidly Regal.

Kimmi and Karina are pretty cool as well. Kimmi is much like Talia from home, both physically and otherwise. I 've enjoyed their company thus far. Karina is a XO like my main bitch Sami so she has to be good people. It was weird when she asked me about Lauren from the pod last year because honestly her boyfriend is lucky to be alive but that's a story for another post...

Out of the guys, I think I've been around Andres the most. Definitely kind and good-natured. To me, there's an aire of mystery to him. Think of him as pot on the stove. It's steaming and bubbling, but you can't see what's in it nor smell it's contents. But it's definitely filled with something. This pot has it's own particular style , draped in a different plaid long sleeve and pair of faded jeans every time you see it.

Everyone else is cool as well. I like that they don't immediately remind me of anyone else I know. It's always a great time when they invite me to do things.

So enough about that. Moving on to something you all wanna know about....

Trey's love life in 60 seconds (BARELY).

Was interested in this guy Luis who told me he was always busy but his snapchat tells me otherwise

He fine as fuck tho.

My "little secret" isn't really talking to me right now. He gets kind of jealous when I don't explicitly give him all of my attention and I think he expected that I remain celibate for him. My dick ain't having that and my ass ain't too fond of that idea either.

Do you guys remember Soft-Serve? Refer back to my post "He Kissed Me Before He Left" back in february. I added him back on snapchat only to be met with snaps of him and his boyfriend. He's cute. Cuter than I am. I don't know why he dwells on my mind still....But fuck you and your new boyfriend.

Added Joe from the club on snapchat and....ehh.

Then there's those suitors who clamor for my attention only to be met with a sly smile and a glance away....Every man is the one until proven otherwise..

I'm done. Get the fuck off my blog.

Gin, Roti, and a Bed of Lies: Part 1

"Had to show bitches where the top is, ring finger where the rock is

These hoes couldn't test me even if their name was pop quiz"

As you can see, I have completely revamped my blog.
Triumvirate (n) - a political regime dominated by three powerful individuals

We're kind of like an egg. The entire thing is called an egg, but it consists of the shell, yolk, and albumen (egg white). I am Trey, but Trey consists of The Forever Dreamer, Charlie, and The Dungeon Dragon. Everyone knows Charlie and the DD, but some of you may not know The Forever Dreamer. He is the personification of my deepest thoughts, desires, and doubts. He is this godlike-entity. No eyes are worthy to bare his true image.

Thanks to a suggestion made by none other than the lovely pearl herself, Diane Lebon, this post is a two-part special. Part 1 is meant to enlighten on you the actual happenings. FACTS. I want you all to get an understanding of what happened. Read this shit and put yourself in my size 12's. How would you feel? So after you read this, prepare yourself for Part 2, which should be up tomorrow night. Compare your feelings to mine.

Before I really get into it, I know that some of the people I have recently become acquainted with will read this blog. So let me remind everyone why I write these. Sometimes I feel as though the people around me get so caught up in my extrovert nature and my wisecracks that they forget I have feelings too..Yuck. Rewind. I sounded like a wet-lipped bitch. Sometimes niggas forget that I deal with shit too so I have to remind yall. There we go. But mostly, it's an inner release. Writing about my various fiascos, diasters, and awkward situations in a comical way almost eases the actual negative emotions I experienced while progressing through them. I want you to laugh while at the same time thinking about similar situations in your own life and understanding who the fuck Trey is.

Lately I really have spending so much time with friends that I haven't been sleeping. When people ask me to hangout, I always say yes without a second thought. I don't really have my own friend circle here which I am okay with but still. I love that I've been getting closer to Karissa and Oneyka. Shai Ann has definitely earned her spot as one of my best friends, however I'm concerned with how often we will be hanging out when Paaks moves back.

I've been getting close to Oneyka's friends but that's just it, they're HER friends and I have to remember that. See they have their own dynamic set up already and you know I'm kind of apprehensive about becoming too close to them, but that will be discussed in Part 2.

This last week has been absolutely bananas, and I didn't even have sex with anyone!...okay well I did, but that's beside the point. Let's just get right into it.

So about a week ago (week ago), I had a little kickback at my place. I actually dropped $50 on liquor alone and that's not including the chasers, mixers, solo cups, and the watermelon. This night was just kind of annoying altogether because of the following reasons:

1) I ended up getting written up for a noise violation and consequently have to go meet with the Student Rights and Responsibilities. No RA knocked on my door and it was actually 18 minutes past Quiet Hours. It was fucking 12:30am on a saturday night. Helloooooo this is college. I'm still gonna do what the fuck I want simply because I'm paying $838 a month to stay there.

2) I did spend a pretty penny on alcohol and I was slightly perturbed that out of all the people that came, no one brought any themselves. A handle of vodka and two bottles of rum is not enough for 20+ people. Just something to keep in the back of my head. Not a big deal cuz it ain't nothing to a nigga like the kid.

3) I invited quite a few of my friends, many of whom told me they were coming. only, alot didn't. If you didn't want to come, why not just say so? I swear I'm so real that I respect when others are real with me. I get more annoyed when you lie about doing something more so than if you straight up tell me you don't wanna do it. At times, I believe that people are afraid to tell me no. And I won't even name folks but just know the kid is still a little pressed at you.

4) Andy was supposed to come and lied to me about where he was later on. Thus starting the next segment.

So my dedicated readers will remember that name simply because I have referenced it in previous posts, let me remind your ass:

September 21st, 2014 - "The Water Bearer"
 "Still thinking about the time I spent with Adrian from UCF. If the plate is clean, I'll eat off it ;)"

October 12th, 2014 - "Treynaconda" 
"Continuing on, I hooked up with this boy named Andy who actually goes to UCF. I really started to like him but I really don't have the time or energy for anyone who adds confusion to my life. I posted something on my snapstory and he took it personally (they all do). Look. I be tryna tell yall. If I'm referring to you, I'll say your name. If not, just assume I'm referring to every boy I'm talking to. Ha."

November 3rd, 2014 - "Steak and Wait"
"My boy from UCF got put on the backburner when I found out he is still infatuated with his Ex. I don't got time to be competing with some whack nigga. Straight like that,."


Firstly, I would like to rescind the comment I made because that "whack nigga"is actually cool as fuck. Corny, but cool. But like the cool kind of corny, ya know?

A few weeks ago, Oneyka invited me to thirsty thursday at her place and I met him. Although I won't be saying anything that would embarrass or upset him, I'm going to give him the nickname, Dildo, because I have already made reference to another Anthony in past posts and I don't want yall getting confused. I'm calling him Dildo for reasons that will soon be apparent. Anyway, he was really nice and sweet that thursday. I also met Mitcheld that night along with some of the others in their crew: Karina, Kimmy, Baustin, Leland, Andres, and Cesar.

To make an incredibly long story somewhat shorter, I realized that Andy would begin text me when he saw snaps where I was around Dildo. A few days after the thursday, I met up with Dildo at his place of business and make sure to capture a candid of him on my snap story, which of course (scoffs) warranted a text from Andy. Fast forward, Andy comes over to my place last sunday. He honestly came onto me and although I initially did not plan on having relations with him, the dick gets what the dick wants. It was alright. Probably better for him. You know, just as a side note, he never sucked my dick either time we smashed. I'm lowkey okay with that because he has some large chompers and I didn't want him taking a bite of my sausage.

So after we showered and all, he gets diarrhea of the mouth and...let's just say he makes some incredulous accusations concerning Dildo and surprisingly, Mitcheld. With Dildo, he says some things that really could get a nigga locked up for doing. Regardless of the validity, they're just not things you should tell someone that you've only seen twice. So I worked with Onyeka that night, and honestly I didn't feel close enough to tell her what Andy had said, mostly because I knew it was all lies anyway and the kid didn't wanna stir the already-overflowing pot of bullshit prepared by Chef Andy himself. Because after a day thinking that Andy really was into me, Onyeka tells me that Andy basically told her the exact opposite of what he told me.

(Pause, Now if you know me, you already know how this is gonna end. Play. )
So I naturally started breathing actual fire and before I burnt down Holly M, I told Onyeka everything that he had told me. It made her sick that someone she called her friend talked about people he was supposed to be close to. It made me sick that the bumhole of a bitch ass nigga was actually in my mouth about 12 hours earlier. Antywayz. (Fast Forward)

I end up telling Mitcheld about what he said on wednesday night. I also got his fuck ass on the phone on speaker and got him to (somewhat) admit to what he had said. I hung up and when his ass called back, Oneyka picked up the phone. You can imagine how that went. He claimed he was having a nervous breakdown and I laaaaaaaughed like this bahaahhahamuahahgagahahamfhahabdaojfamda! you THOUGHT you were Regina George. Needless to say, he won't be receiving any of the King's time or dick anymore.

I know some of you are wondering why I don't just pursue Dildo as a potential love interest.
Well....I'll get to that in Part 2 ;)
Stay tuned, hoes.

Steak and Wait

"When I walk in, sit up straight, I don't give a fuck if I was late

Dinner with my man on a G5 is my idea of an update"

Firstly wanna dedicate this blog to the people who constantly are there for me and deserve nothing but my unwavering loyalty: Diane, Jonathan, Sami, Shai, Julisa,David, Yuleidy,Kristy, Racheal, Deja,the Size Queens, and Jamie. (In no particular order at all) I am forever indebted. (Til you fuck up and I have to fuck you up)

And I also want to mention the people who have more recently gained my love and admiration. I am so excited to see where life takes us: Karissa, Bekah, Anthony, Jessica, Onyeka, Faith, Ian, Mikey, and Antonio.

And lastly I want to remind my friends afar that though we may not speak everyday, you are always on my mind: Brianna, Abby, Jenny, Paaks, Channelle,Carlos,Tiffany,Celine,Jana,Kaitlynn, Josehan, and many others..

I'm not really one to argue back and forth on social media. That was high school me. I might check you right quick but I swear you won't get more than two comments from me. I learned a long time ago to pick my battles because when I go to war, I'm dropping atomic bombs, feel me? And sometimes it's just much more enjoyable to sit back and laugh while someone looks completely pathetic.But just know...

But you know, since I've gotten to college, I've been way more complacent and tolerant than I was back in 2014. I suppose I am more decisive and considerate in my actions. I used to just completely devastate anyone who even inched out of line. Now, I feel that I let bitches and niggas go unchecked for a bit then swiftly remind them that I am KING only when need be. But see, these bitches been getting a little too bold lately.

Do I have to time travel and remind you hoes? Hold. Up. Can a little boy from the muthafuckin 239 get ratchet for yall right quick? You niggaz best ask Stephen Hill how much of a mountain I am? You better ask Terence how fucking koo-koo-for-cocoa-puffs crazy I am. Muahaha. And yall could damn sure ask Niecy and Leroy how it feels to have your balls in MY hands and how quick I can cut your cred off in the damn trap! The Dungeon Dragon will incinerate all you hoes! I'm bout to put USF on that GET RIGHT, RIGHT QUICK! Ask Justin how that fire feel..

And lastly, you better ask EVERY nigga I've given the time of day to how quick that dick and that ass can get replaced!!! It's not a matter of IF, it's a matter of WHEN. Yeah I'm one, you fuckin son of a gun.

Take your medication, Charlie. Back to sweet Trey.

I really have only one motto about life and that is this:
I'm a bad bitch, I'm a cunt
Be everywhere. Know everyone. Destroy everything.

I'm lowkey psychotic okay? Ignore me one too many times and I'll be ignoring your pleas for mercy when I come for your...you get it


Speaking of which, everybody knows I'm never afraid to speak my mind. So of course, I was ready to rumble when Brittani tweeted "Sometimes it seems like Ahylin is the only person that genuinely cares, and that's perfectly okay with me"

Okay well what do you expect to happen when you completely brush off your friends for someone. I mean, hello! Wake up! And you know, I'm not really mad about anything. But after a while of being constantly treated like I ain't never did shit for you, I guess I just don't feel obligated to stay in contact or maintain that same strong friendship.


I absolutely love Bekah. BRB let me transfer to UT rite quik! We def need to hang out more.
Anyway, I went out with her and some of her friends. It was suuuuch a great time. Although one of her friends decided to run off and play with two of the dancers from the club. And when I say play, I mean, one joystick in each hand.

I had to put a stop to that real quick. her other friend Sam was mad cool as well. It's so strange for me to enjoy hanging out with another gay man. He's tall, white, and skinny. One of those hipster photographer types. I started dancing with him in the club in order to get the other whack dude to leave him alone. I ended up being lowkey half-way turned on. I wonder if he could feel that poke? Wasn't all the way..excited, though. It's strange because I never get turned on while grinding. Hmm.

Friday was great, honestly. Karissa, Larissa, and Jose make an excellent turn-up squad. Lowkey  they remind me of Sami, Diane, and Jonathan, respectively. Besides the fact that Diane and Jonathan don't date because he's all mine. But anyways, Karissa is my muthafuckin nigga and I already knew Larissa was cool as fuck, but Jose really surprised me. He ended up being super cool and alot of fun to be around. I have many bad bitches in my life. But I miss having a real ass, boss ass nigga that I can make fun of mad heavy. Only Jonathan fits that bill and he too busy being obsessed with Meeko.

De todos modos, the night I had with those three was so bomb. Even at Steak and Shake. BRUH. We waited 30 minutes for drinks and over an hour for our food, which wasn't even hot. When I look back, I don't understand why I didn't completely go off about it. I guess by that time I was so completely worn out by the alcohol that I really just didn't have the energy.

Paid $20 for a fox tail for my Swiper the Fox costume just for someone to take it right off my ass.

5 Things I find Oddly Attractive:

5) Veiny Arms
4) Thick Accents (Except Spanish)
3) Broad Shoulders
2) Big Hands
1) Voice


Let's briefly go over my love life right quick:

A) Completely done with LiteBrite. I ain't paying that nigga nothing but dust. You can't expect to have something real with someone who is completely full of shit and don't even know how to be lowkey about it.

B) "My Little Secret"....always on my mind even though he's not supposed to be. Ugh.

C) Two weeks ago I went to the club with a sexy ass lightskin nigga and his friends. I learned that looks in no way can compensate for a killer personality. I swear talking to half-empty bag of doritos probably would have been more interesting.

D) Anthony and I have just been coasting. Don't really wanna delve back into anything with him, but i can't deny the care I will always have for him. For right now, I just wanna spend time with him and be more comfortable around him. I remember feeling like he was superior to me and that I just wasn't good enough for him.

E) Reignited things with Joe but for what? For things to just repeat themselves again? He's cute but I can't give him what he wants right now.

F) My boy from UCF got put on the backburner when I found out he is still infatuated with his Ex. I don't got time to be competing with some whack nigga. Straight like that,.

G) Carlos is definitely my physical type but I feel as though anything between us consists of only that: physicality. There is SO much sexual tension between us and I know lowkey that it would be one of the best layings I have had in my life. However, I want MORE than that. I desire not to be any man's sexual conquest, but the man of his dreams.

There's a couple other guys, but it hasn't gone anywhere far enough for the kid to make them famous yet.

And you guys know I always have a few dudes in my scope. That's means I'm just waiting to go in for the kill. I wiggle myself into their life and then I kill them with my charm.

I don't fear commitment…I fear wasting my TIME!


Class Dismissed.

Treynaconda

"He keep telling me it's real, that he love my sex appeal

He say he don't like 'em boney, he want something he can grab

So I pulled up in the Jag, Mayweather with the jab like..."

I hate when people fuck with me because then  I'm obligated to send nuclear missiles to your front door.

So. As I am finishing this up, I've noticed some of my old highschool siblings are tweefing because some lil group of churren who call themselves "Money Team", tried to make their own homecoming week. Hol up. Yall I know I used to run shit back in the day. I'd be pissed if I put in WORK and someone tried to go against the grain. I mean I would've 86'd that shit with haste. But 'tis a good laugh. They're all going back and forth because this girl said something to the effect of "You're worried about Homecoming Week but won't even graduate". King Charlemagne was most certainly tickled.

But let's be honest. What kind of money are you making and you're not even out of high school? Don't front. You know yo momma bought that fake ass versace shirt for $12 at Burlington. Don't play. (OMG I love Burlington).
I feel that minorities get so caught up in having temporary pleasures (hair done, nails done, nice clothes) that they can't invest in the bigger picture. I'm tryna tell yall. The richest kids on campus drive Porsche's but rockin Payless shoes. You don't hear the King tho.

Last night I decided to have a little kickback at my place. I invited Shai-Ann, the Size Queens, Ian + company, Valerie, LiteBrite, Nia, and my new friend Beckah. (I met Beckah in Ybor, she goes to UT and she is GORGEOUS with a crazy personality! And she go to UT so yall know that mean she got moneeeeeey)

The size queens came but I was little thrown off. I decided not to tailgate with them because it wasn't planned out and my spidey-senses warned me that I would just end up annoyed. But I was thrown off because I invited them to the getty  but they had not actually said whether they were coming or not. I knew something was up so when I finally asked, they told me that had planned to go to a party for the last week. Why not just say that from jumpstreet? Honesty doesn't hurt my feelings. I wish that they all would do more things independently. Sometimes it seems like if one doesn't wanna do something, the other two automatically don't.

Now, I won't say what I may or may not have ingested, but just know that Trey was on a completely different planet. I had a lot of fun surrounded by fun people, I just wish I could actually remember it. When I'm....in that manner, I really like being touched. My senses perk up and skin contact just becomes euphoric. I felt myself all over LiteBrite in front of everyone which is a big NO-NO for me. {The last time that happened with Lucas and I was also....in the same manner ;)}
Ian came too with his boytoy and I was quite surprised because he's actually really cute. Not that Ian can't pull, but I thought I found all the USF babies already lmao. He's not my type though, but they're a cute lil duo.

Speaking of which, Ian is my new roomate and honestly he's cool as fuck. Nigga stay turnt. I finally have someone I can talk about gay shit with haha. He gets it.

Things have going well with LiteBrite. But to be honest, I don't know where this is going and to what extent. I guess I can just lay back and enjoy it for now...(and I mean that in multiple ways)

Came back in contact with someone who I shall name....BB. So BB is actually LiteBrites close friend, because they share an ex haha. We had a falling out but I guess we worked it out when sent him screenshots of his current (ex now) boyfriend trying to get with me on Grindr. (Why did I capitalize Grindr?) Well, we been getting close ever since then. Before I was really only interested in him sexually, but to be honest, he has recently been intriguing a different head. He's high key unreliable when its comes to hanging out though. Let's just see where it goes. UPDATE: I invited him to the TI concert (which was amazing) and he asked me what time to come. That was the last time I talked to him. Nigga left me hanging like a left nut. Again. He'll be lucky to get any type of attention from King Charlie again.

But to be honest, I really want this Middle Eastern boy I started talking snap-chatting. Yo. He is so fucking cute. Let's see how this goes. I think he has a boyfriend tho..

Here's a little lesson: Trey C. don't stress em!
Started talking to a club owner but that shit stopped just a quickly as it started. He has had...relations with someone I know back home and have mentioned plenty of times on my blog. That was automatically a turn off considering who it was but whatever. This nigga told me he's not into random hookups (which I never even wanted to have with him) and two hours later, told me to come over because he was horny and his dildo wouldn't cut it. Bish whet?

Kept trying the shit for a couple days, but when he realized he was texting King Charlie's number and not Rent-A-Hoe, he got kinda sour.

A couple weeks ago the Size Queens and I went Ybor and see what has been happening lately is when we go, boys will engage them in conversation in a weak effort to get at..well,me. So we're in the club and this latin boy is dancing with them and I'm noticing how he keeps getting closer to me. To be honest, I really didn't get a great look at him but I didn't bother because I was so put off. Damn, if you want me, you better be direct. Subtle shit don't fly with Trigga. Antywayz. I noticed he disappeared for a minute then, I could feel him standing a few feet behind me. When I walked forward, I feel someone grab....well, a large slice of this poundcake. It's kind of flattering, but I wasn't gonna show him any attention, negative or positive.

A few hours later, we walk out of the club and Bailey is sitting on the bench with him. I see him glance at me, then 30 seconds later she calls me over. Oh lawd. Ever so reluctantly, I walk over in typical Trey fashion.

It was awkward.

He awkwardly shook my hand.
I awkwardly avoided eye contact.
He awkwardly smiled.
I awkwardly frowned.
That was it.

Until the next day, when I sobered and was peeping his IG with Bailz. OMG is that boy from last night? Damn he's fine, what was I thinking? Now YALL, it is so rare for me to renege upon my initial judgment of someone but he was/is so fucking cute,

Long story short, we got in contact and began texting. Only, he's a horrible texter. You know what? I gotta say something..For everyone reading this, I am a HORRIBLE texter. So I aka Charlie aka Trigga Trey aka The Muthafuckin Dungeon Dragon text YOU, bitch your world better stop turning! If you giving CPR to Obama, you better hope his ass stay alive while you texting me back.

When I confront him, he say, "Well, to be honest, I've been really busy and don't really see it important to text someone I don't know." OH?? At that point I was soooo done. We kept texting a little after that but I felt like I was carrying the conversation by myself and let's be real, there's plenty of other people that would love my time and attention. Nigga like do I know who I am? The Original Trey. And you can bet his ass ain't got a text back since.

Continuing on, I hooked up with this boy named Andy who actually goes to UCF. I really started to like him but I really don't have the time or energy for anyone who adds confusion to my life. I posted something on my snapstory and he took it personally (they all do). Look. I be tryna tell yall. If I'm referring to you, I'll say your name. If not, just assume I'm referring to every boy I'm talking to. Ha.

LiteBrite is the only boy whom I publicly say anything about because....He deserves that.

A part of me feels like I've entered a new era of.....non-hoeism. Or is it a phase? I haven't really been satisfied by casual encounters or pursuing them. I'm so consumed with proving to myself that I CAN find a worthy individual and be in a committed relationship. But see because I have never really been in a relationship, I tend to fall hard and quickly for anyone that shows me any type of interest in getting to know me and not getting inside me.
Speaking of which, I have not been penetrated in sooooo long. I'm beginning to think that my booty virginity may have grown back Like re-sewn itself back up.

Leave me comments (even anonymously) or message me your opinions about shit I write on here. I love when people can relate to what I feel and what I have to say.

I work at starbucks now btw

*runs away from paparazzi*