He Came to Give It To You

"Yo, like MJ doctor, they killing me

Propofol, I know they hope I fall

But tell ‘em winning is my motherfuckin’ protocol

‘Cause I score before I ever throw the ball"

First things first, I'm the realest!! Just kidding. Kind of. Antyway.

Sorry that it's been another month yall. I really have been writing and re-writing this blog for the last three weeks.

(In case you didn't know, my alter-ego Charlemagne Zolanski aka The Uncrowned King of Moscow aka The Dungeon Dragon bka Charlie will rear his head in my blogs. He is fun-loving, but also crazy as fuck. Somewhere between iconic and psychotic. There's also Trigga Trey aka Young Trigga, a persona of mine. Ratchet as fuck. On that thuggery.)

#AsIfMovement

I only have one best friend. I might refer to other people as one OF my best friends. Best is relative term, meaning better than all the others. Diane is better than all the others. Honestly, I feel as thought we are in one continuous conversation. Like I 'm waiting for her to call or text back, because I feel like I'm always having some type of interaction with me. We're both alike in the sense that we are both very outspoken, intellectual-yet-ratchet, and INDEPENDENT. We make mad moves yo. I can't really be too closely associated with a BUMMY ass bitch now can I?

Although, Julisa is a close second. I have been chilling with her like aaaall summer. She's like the chill version of me, and I'm her on drugs. (I'm not on drugs tho). We're both mad real and what I love about her is that she's just always down to hangout and have fun. She's a real ass bitch and I don't have to worry about no lowkey sneak fuckery from her.

Things that happened when Julisa and I went to Ybor:
1) Old boy followed me around club
2)New boy acted like he ain't know me
3)Weird boy grabbed my ass and acted like it wasn't him
4)Ugly boy kept trying to dance with me

Work honestly reminds me of my earlier years of high school. Everyone knows of me, but does not know ABOUT me. You either love me or you hate me, but regardless, I'm respected. I know aaaaall the drama that's going on in the store: who's fucking who, who's sending nudies to who (*smiles to self *), who's hoeing around....all thaaaaat. Shadyboy Trey on the reg-deg. Oh and I might have a little crush on someone I work with... ;)

(I think I use this pic in like every post)

I got promoted to Crew Trainer! (Finally) Jessica made me in charge of SOC's and cleaning tasks. (Love you Ms. Jones!) They've also been allowing me to run the shift on more than one occasion. I can tell that some people were lowkey jealous and definitely didn't like having to answer to me.

It all just goes to make me less tolerant of my coworkers' bullshit and shitty work ethic.

It's not that I wanna be like Nicki Minaj. We ARE alike. We're both uber sexual and will check you in a heartbeat. And most importantly, we're both crazy as hell.

Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby *Ashanti voice*
Baby, Baby, Baby *TLC voice*
Baby, Baby, Baby oohhhh *Justin Beiber voice*

I am so tired of you. All you can do is take, but you have no clue how to give.
All that matters to me is effort. And that goes for both relationships and friendships. Especially don't call me your bestfriend if you make time for every other Tom, Dick, and Harry but when it comes to hanging out with me you're "too tired" or broke.

So, my going away shindig was a success!!!
12 people in one hotel room CAN'T be sane...especially if they're friends of mine ;)
A lot went down that night...including me lmaooo (sexual joke)
I really went I lived closer to Deja and/or Julissa. What I love about them is that they are never afraid to have fun and are both the right mix of sophisticated and ratchet for the kid.

One thing I've noticed about OOMF is that whenever she's in a relationship, it's like that person has control over her entire life. That's really why I don't rush to hangout with you because I don't really feel like hearing about your girl/dude all night. It's crazy to me (and hurts me a little) that you always brush me off for her but you see her all the damn time. And she lives here. I don't. So much for being a best friend. Loyal to you always, but sometimes that shit gotta come from afar.

BTW, it is SO tacky not to respond (either respectfully declining or deciding to come) to an invitation to an event. That's why some of yall reading this won't get any invites from me to do shit.

Trade (n) - A man who messes around with other men, but no one would ever know by looking or talking to him. Used by gay black men to identify masculine gay men or DL Brothas.

WTBS, I have a new trade in my life lol. He's a year younger than me and skinny as fuuuuuuck! The only person who has ever seen him is Justin when I met him at the movies (it was awkward but Justin has put me in that position so many times that I literally don't give a fuck). But look yall. I'ma have to get this nigga a daishiki, cuuuuuz. Well. He slangin. (that means his penis is quite large). The only thing is this, He's inexperienced. I'm his first boy so he doesn't really know his way around..a different hole. But let me tell yall, ole boy is a Grade A+ Freak! Kid tongued me down. He ate it like he was starving!! I swear I died and went to heaven ( and was thankful I didn't have any Mexican food). My eyes rolled back into my head and I served him up a nice thick plate of cake....*fans crotch*. Anyway, I've hung out with him a couple times. The last time was with his friends at the beach. I thought there was something wrong with them lmfao. I mean, my nigga got maaaad swag. He always steppin out in Jordans. But his friends got in my car lookin like Ray Charles dressed them. Then later on, I texted my nigga some sexual shit, and his friends saw it....

He played it off but he was kinda mad about it..he took it out on me later on though. In a good way (Call me Mr. Canady if you're nasty). He's also the first person I've actually enjoyed giving head to. Cuz he looooooove this fat ass hahahahahahaha. Spit on the dick like an instrumental. 

I really wanna have sex with a stud tho. Is that weird? 

Okay so I've been getting reaaaaally close to this boy who for right now, I'll call Litebrite. I call him that because if I'm lightskinned, and this nigga is downright invisible. We've been talking every fucking day since May April March!! (Damn that's longer than I thought) Now I cannot deny that there is definitely some chemistry and a connection. When I first met him, he had a boyfriend...whom I thought he could do better than. It's crazy when you have feelings for someone but you see they're not being treated right by someone else and it just drives you fucking insane! The thing is, we have really developed as friends, and he knows how I game these niggas (dick on hasbro). But when I talk to him, everything is just so genuine. I could never do him like I do them...he just means more to me than that. When I saw him in Tampa last week, I had the butterflies.

 No one has made me feel that way since like..my sophomore year in high school. I'd quit my hoe ways for him. (That's big) I'm anxious to see how it progresses especially when I move back to Tampa and really get to spend time with him like I want to. 

Have you ever not wanted to speak around someone you were really feeling because you were afraid of saying something stupid?

Tweets of the week: 
"I swear I hate a "I don't have money til next friday" ass nigga"
"WHITE PARENTS BE LIKE "LOSE THE TUDE CINDY I'M NOT HAVING IT""
"When you talk shit and can't back it up...of course you're getting your ass beat. #duh"
"Rule #1 of your fucking life: Don't fuck with Trey."
"I get so irritated when white/latin/mixed people say they're lightskinned.......DUH"

(Leave anonymous comments if you want)
Goodbye you cream cheese pussy ass hoes!